When I grow up, I wanna be me

i was at a restaurant with friends and overheard a family next to our table ordering their meals. a girl (about 6 years of age) was ectastic to order here cheeseburger and milkshake. once the waiter got to her, she shared her order with glee. immediately after sharing her dad said "that is not what you are going to get, we are ordering you macaroni and cheese and lemonade-"

as a parent i can understand the need for balancing dietary needs, but this is not what i want to focus on. i want to focus on this 6 year olds voice- and how it was not heard.

i have been speaking at numerous events as of late that involve parents and their children.....and am learning for myself the importance of giving SPACE to our children to express and be who they are, not what we WANT them to be.
when i share the restaurant story in my workshops, i hear numerous responses like: " I was that girl, whenever i had something to say my parents always told me that my choices were not only heard, but not right"
no wonder most adults i meet have NO idea what their voice is. we are told early on that it is not okay to be ourselves.
i have the deepest compassion for our world and for myself in this arena.
i understand now, being a parent that my daughter deserves to be continually encouraged to trust her own choices, express and be heard.
whether we agree with our children or not, we are not here to live through them. we are not here to give them OUR lives, we are here to guide, demonstrate, embrace, open up, love and appreciate that our children have their own voices and when they grow up they need to want to be themselves.
it has taken me awhile to discover jenny. when i was in my early twenties i began a book called "the search for jenny"- now looking back, i see that my journey of finding my own voice began then.
all of it has led me to where i am today- and all of it has guided me to committ to my daughter knowing and trusting herself.
most clients share that their whole identity since childhood has been to please others and make sure that they were "liked"- how easy it is to fall into that illusion....and we live in a world where we thrive on others opinions of who we "are"
as a woman, mother and actionist in the world, i believe the change we all want to BE is within us.
it takes awareness to remove ourselves from the equation that life is about
winning, succeeding, having the better kid, being the better parent, being stronger, faster, you name it.
it takes heart to understand that the greatest offering we can give to others, is to be ourselves.
to want to be ourselves when we grow up- not be a label, or profession, or role played out.
to fully just BE US.
to see our children as their own person
and honor that we are are own as well.
the more i speak around the country i feel that we all desire to be more present-
and this can only begin once we know and trust our inner voice.
and BE it
no matter what.
i stand in this new knowing for myself. still new territory for me, but i know that i am whole. the 6 year old girl in me who was not heard i HEAR now....and feel grateful, open and loving of the life.

i beautifully challenge all those in my workshops and who read my blog to stop looking to others to "tell you who you are"
and allow yourself to come out and play.
rock on.