i am participating in a class with lots of kids and their parents. i am always fascinated by my own patterns and since i have been finishing my book, more inclined to observe how the world plays with patterns.....
i remember awhile back, i was asked in a workshop "i just dont know why my kids have no attention span. they cannot settle down and seem to always need me to entertain them"
the man who shared his perspective on his kids felt alone ...and frustrated in his parenting. i asked him what he felt may be the "reasons" they need constant entertainment or stimulation from the outside world. he didnt answer.
this is what i thought about upon participating in a parent child art class the other day. the teacher so graciously shared with all of us that in art, there is no "wrong" way of creating. it is about allowing ourselves and our children to freely explore the paints, glitter, glue and projects on each table. upon hearing this, the kids all ran to their choices and began to express boldly. this is where it got interesting.
i watched myself step aside from it. i watched my kid put lots of glitter on her project and giggle. she was emersed in her own creation, and i absolutely loved witnessing that. i watched another little boy throw lots of paint on his "kittens" face and laugh. it was messy and fun, and they enjoyed making it "theirs"- i also observed the parents begin to sit closer and tell their children what was right and what a "kitten" should look like. statements like " oh, kittens do not have red noses, they have white noses. " or " lets not do that, because the paint is getting everywhere"
it went on and on. and slowly the kids began to not giggle.
as parents we have our own ideas about "what things are and arent" - i understand that we are here to guide and direct, but too often we do this in the moments where it stifles not only our childrens expressions, but our own. too often, we are so fearful of being "messy" or not "right" that we mute our own need to throw glitter on things and allow the paint to fall off our papers.
i thought about this man in my workshop, and his inquiry on why his children cannot "entertain" themselves. they depend on TV or video games to stimulate their "creativity"- or they depend on their parents to make sure they "know" what to do next.
it is a fine line ...guiding our children and also allowing THEM to guide THEMSELVES. to trust themselves and their own art...which is their LIVES.
our lives are our canvas....we can have glitter or choose not to. but it is not our jobs as adults to tell children they "cannot" or that they need to have their kittens look "like a real kitten"
we wonder why our children cannot think for themselves, it is because we have not allowed them to. we are too busy telling them what to think, how to be..and what to do, that they do not have the practice is figuring it out.
as time goes on, we teach them exactly what we are looking at within ourselves.
who am i without the 'external' things? we are no different then children. we have been taught that our own expression needs to be muted or altered. we have believed in for many years. we crave to just be ourselves, yet fear having nothing to "do"- instead we turn on the TV or do anything to distract ourselves from just being.
we monitor our children because we monitor ourselves.
why do our children need to be entertained? because we do.
